What Representing Men in Divorce Taught Me About Fatherhood | Marilyn York | TEDxUniversityofNevada

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Attorney Marilyn York owns a Men’s Rights Family Law Firm in Reno Nevada, established in 2001. She and her ten female employees focus on representing men for two reasons: 1. As her talk explains, fathers are crucial in the upbringing and development of their children; and 2. Fathers are the disadvantaged parent in family court and society and while the laws are improving, the statistics are not. There are currently more than 17,000,000 children growing up in America without their fathers and every year this number is growing. According to the Center for Disease Control, children from fatherless homes account for 90% of homeless and runaway children; 71% of high school dropouts and 63% of youth suicides. Listen to this talk to find out how you can help America's 17,000,000 fatherless children avoid these fates! Marilyn D. York is a Men's Rights Divorce Attorney, licensed in California since 1998 and Nevada since 1999, where she is a Certified Family Law Specialist. Since 2001, Marilyn has owned her law firm in Reno, Nevada, where she and her 9 female employees specifically represent men in divorce and family law battles. Marilyn chose her career because of her passion for children and relationships but most of all, Marilyn is driven to help underdogs. While the laws are improving for men, not all laws are yet gender equal and the interpretation and enforcement of those that are, have a long way to go. Despite her focus on representing men, Marilyn has a deep compassion for women in need as well. It isn't lost on Marilyn that women remain disadvantaged outside Family Court. She serves that need as Board President for a local housing program for homeless young women, Nevada Youth Empowerment Project, or NYEP. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Moondust 2 órája
The prejudice against men is real!!!
G. Dave3
G. Dave3 3 órája
Lost my daughter 10 years ago to my ex who kidnapped her away and poisoned her against me( Parental Alienation, PA) , I took her to court. But the mother made several False Allegations( FA) against me which were taken as fact without a shred of evidence. Judge ordered no contact, so after 6.00 I couldn’t watch anymore cos it made me too upset. Thanks so much for talking about Fathers/Men’s issues! 👿✊🏽
Oliver Clytus
Oliver Clytus 3 órája
One of the many reasons why I don’t have kids. The system is rigged against fathers that’s why the marriage rate in America is dropping so fast. Men realize there’s no benefit for them.
Lexa 7 órája
Hey, I will take one of those divorced good fathers who want to be a dad. I'm all for dads being in their lives. You know, I would love my son's dad to commit to his son without getting calls "No one's here to pick up your kid" On his day. Or "Come get him because I have other things to do, or I will drop him off at the house, and you better be there." 4 hours into his his "day" with him. Or 1 hour into his 2 hour visit and he's screaming at my son who only wants his attention to go in the back room and leave him alone. Right now, the law is protecting my son.
It Approaches
It Approaches 7 órája
If Judges actually took each case as it's own instead of just treating them like a factory and applying blanket solutions to everything then those laws and regulations would fade away. The justice system is just a lazy business lol.
MrUltimategamer44 11 órája
“Close your eyes and think of your father” People without a father:
Killa 11 órája
Almost 6k feminists still hate all men.
frouke jansen
frouke jansen 12 órája
why am i watching this i was raised by a single mom
RohitMukh 17 órája
The court systems don't care about human, they only want your money and create chaos.
John Doesit
John Doesit 23 órája
My dad was never there... still not there 37 yrs later. People are people, everyone is different.
Christopher Lee
Christopher Lee 23 órája
I'm a high school teacher and I've noticed over the years that many of the students that I've had the privilege to connect with and teach come from fatherless homes. More than what is comfortable, have told me they wish I was their father. It is emotionally taxing to know you can't take them all in and teach them every day what stability and love (many times tough love) looks like. One thing I don't hear mentioned alot (hard to quantify with data) is that fathers provide follow through. I've taught/coached many fatherless students and many (not all, for sure) mothers fail in demanding their children follow through with the simplest of tasks. This lack of follow through causes many fatherless children to fail throughout their lives. It is important for parents (Mom or Dad) to teach that failure is merely temporary (Carol Dweck) not permanent and therefore children must be pushed past what they think they are capable.
Johnny Rep
Johnny Rep Napja
The main cause of all this, which she did not mention, is the policies of the Democrat Party.
BodaBoom BigAl
BodaBoom BigAl Napja
Court orders mean nothing without the courts enforcing them!
BodaBoom BigAl
BodaBoom BigAl Napja
It is all by design, to destroy America. Keep the masses down. Make the strong weak so no one can stand against the coming tyranny!
dr rtp
dr rtp Napja
I would die a million times to protect my little girl. It forces change having a child but it’s well worth it when she says she wants to marry daddy and believes you hung the stars just for her. Two night at Gigi’s house is a month away from me. First person that greets me when I get home and the last girl I’ll ever need.
Rick Saunders
Rick Saunders Napja
Guys always hire a female lawyer If it dont go your way Use that in your favor
norain norainbows
norain norainbows Napja
Every child deserves good parents. There are mothers and fathers who are not good parents. There are mothers and fathers who are exceptional loving parents. No one group has a copyright on good parenting. Just keep in mind that if you are a horrible spouse, do not expect your partner to speak well of you. The courts should require parents to go through some kind of custody training when they get divorced.
john stiletto
john stiletto Napja
Back when... The welfare system only paid to women with kids and no father living in the house breaking up the family... Now we're paying the price...
Sebastian Polo
Sebastian Polo Napja
This is true feminism . Equality for every race and gender to represent other groups . And as a male 25 I really want this women to represent my voice .
Ben Goacher
Ben Goacher Napja
Problem is the attitude towards having a kid. Certainly here in the UK a child is just a paycheck from the state and bumps you up the priority list for social welfare including housing. If you are a single mother, you can live a very modest life purely off of state handouts, the more kids, the more handouts. It's not uncommon for a single mother to have 5 kids or more from 5 different fathers none of which are in their lives at all. Unfortunately this trend only exists within the already poor social circles. So poverty is breeding poverty and the taxpayer is picking up the pieces. We need a healthier attitude to families. having a kid is a privilege not a right.
Clarissa Smith
Clarissa Smith 2 napja
Acknowledging men's role in rearing children isn't an attack on women. Both parents are important, and when they do their jobs well and work in unison, you can see it in their children. Don't cut men out of their role as fathers. Sons and daughters need their dads, too.
Adam Cooper
Adam Cooper 2 napja
5.8K downvotes. WOW.
Kc Dunham
Kc Dunham 2 napja
I have dealing with parental alienation for from my fist daughter who is now 19 all the way to my 4 year old son.. 4 girls and one boy and I'm treated like I'm not important to their lives and the courts have help this... Been 9 years sense I saw my oldest 3 girls
Anthony Aranda
Anthony Aranda 2 napja
i mean do we really need all the data to be able to say we should be equal. if courts, and society< valued men's rights then more fathers would be in more kids lives and we wouldnt need all this data to justify it. she even spoke about a womens shelter. even that is part of the problem. if im a homeless father and want to get into a womens and childrens shelter i would be denied cause im a man and there are no mens and children shelters. guess thats another kid that doesnt get a father cause id have to give up my kid to get into a shelter so we both have a shot at a real life. seriously this whole things is about the children which is noble but a bit slow or retarded (in the sense of the definition of the word which is to be slow to catch on.) if we uphold the standard of being equal and having equal rights then this will get taken care of as a result. i wonder how many things wont get solved by focusing on the issue of the kids. just treat both SEXES (not genders cause im not talking about genders im talking about sex, maybe the whole country is talking about gender but not me im talking about sex and thats what i was always talking about before we got sidetracked on a wild goose chase about genders) equally and the rest will be sorted out!!!!!!
Leo oram
Leo oram 2 napja
That speech though
BigNYMan 2 napja
flipmane 2 napja
Paternity tests, people. Even if you know. Make sure.
Reed Tan
Reed Tan 2 napja
"I havent got married, and I'm already considering to engage her for my future divorce."
John Raymond
John Raymond Napja
No, don't get married, adopt. Neither your money or home can be taken away nor can your child be separated from you except by your own doing.
Clayton Johnson
Clayton Johnson 2 napja
I’m not on my child’s birth certificate, her ex husbands name is on the birth certificate because her mother talked her into doing it. Now he calls me by my first name and calls another guy dad even though that guy isn’t around like I am. I know he’s my so, it gets harder every day but what can I do
Demarcus Witten
Demarcus Witten 2 napja
Even if laws get changed we fathers will still get screwed, it will still favor the mother, it will still cost more child support for the man then the woman.
James Nelson
James Nelson 2 napja
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Tera Greene • nova jade*
Tera Greene • nova jade* 2 napja
This is so good. I'm a child who was raised by a single parent father since I was 5 months old. And my best friend was my grandpa, his father. I never knew my mom and my grandpa became a widower after 33.5 years of marriage when my grandma died when I was 3. Fathers are so key to my success and growth. My grandpa had one child, my dad, and my dad had one child, me. Now, I am almost 38 in November of 2021 , and I have one child, a male. May my partner and I give him the best we can so that if he becomes a parent, he can be as present as mine was when I was growing up. We gotta advocate for the males more. Thanks for this tedtalk.
SIGMA MALE 2 napja
Men avoid women at all costs
Cody #Warhawk
Cody #Warhawk 3 napja
It makes me so angry that for men's issues and problems to even be taken seriously, it has to be a woman that brings it up and stands up for men. It's 2021 and I'm still not taken seriously, or I'm ignored, or I'm discredited because I'm a man talking about the issues I as a man have to deal with. Please do tell me how women are still the more oppressed ones though, I'd love to have a few laughs at your expense.
Jan W
Jan W 3 napja
Too easy to produce those “fatherless children” stats. I’m sure it all depends on how they became fatherless. My mom had two children and was happily married when my father died two months before I was born. Never knew one, never missed what I never had.
Miles Rasmussen
Miles Rasmussen 3 napja
"if you grew up without a father or are a father separated from your child, raise your hands/stand up" Me: wtf I wanna see the crowd! How many are standing?!
Dakota Rexford
Dakota Rexford 3 napja
I feel this a lot
sorry mrgoogle
sorry mrgoogle 3 napja
feminists/liberals don't want compassion or empathy to increase in the population. it will shut down their party.
sorry mrgoogle
sorry mrgoogle 3 napja
this woman is a feminist's nightmare. honest objective fair takes action to promote equality effective
sorry mrgoogle
sorry mrgoogle 3 napja
"I began in los angeles" now it makes sense.
Tyler Scala Music
Tyler Scala Music 3 napja
My father was awarded full custody of me when I was 3 years old. My "mother" was a manipulative, lying junkie and a thief, from what my dad told me. It wasn't until I turned 22 that I actually met my birthmother. She ended up manipulating me against my father who had raised me on his own until I was 9 and he met Stacey (the wonderful woman I now consider to be my real mother). She ended up stealing almost $10,000 from me (the money I had saved for my own daughter's future) after I lost my daughter in a custody dispute to her mother, a jobless woman who lied to and deceived me for our entire relationship. I have since written off my birthmother and not seen my daughter in over 2 years, since she was 7 months old. I often worry about her wellbeing growing up in such a negative environment without me there, the man who loves her more than anything in the world. Something needs to change, hopefully this wonderful presentation sheds some light on that fact.
Simon Thompson
Simon Thompson 3 napja
5.8k thumbs down... wonder who clicked on those lol?
Hey hoe
Hey hoe 3 napja
3:10 wait, what?
Dope Life
Dope Life 3 napja
Damn. They cant put a baby birth certificate to another man. Thats wrong. So wrong
Antonio Mendoza
Antonio Mendoza 3 napja
Man i wish i had a dad
lixinxin 3 napja
I think it's kind of jumping to conclusions to call it kidnapping for a girl to leave her boyfriend's name off a birth certificate, without an analysis of the causes. And maybe all of her clients are committed to fatherhood, but how many biological fathers are absent because they think it's not their problem (because of the misconception that fathers are not critical)? Humans are not a monolith. Not all single mothers are good but many are, not all fathers are bad, but some are.
Gagandeep Singh
Gagandeep Singh 3 napja
people who have had fatherless childhood feel lost and alone thats why the others have better mental health.
Mishka Piska
Mishka Piska 3 napja
Not a day passes that I don’t pray to someday be reunited with my daughter. I have litigated since before her birth just for the right to be in her life despite paying lots in child support. Meanwhile my daughter has been told that I am not there because I don’t care about her and have moved on.
QuamtimeConers 3 napja
5.8K people hate facts
Duss 3 napja
Erase your father from your... Done....
Angel Delgadillo
Angel Delgadillo 3 napja
My father was an abusive alcoholic who had a worse life than he gave me. My mother did very little about it and the stress she was under affected her actions. Both of them crippled my self esteem and made me feel like I can't connect to anyone. The stress was so bad I decided I'd rather be homeless than be under their roof. Eventually I managed to get a job and lease a home. But the damage to mental health is big. I feel like everything I do is pointless and that I'm never good enough. Good parents are important, not just having parents.
tony chan
tony chan Napja
I can relate...I hope you are on the path to self- love and respect...
Nature's Finest
Nature's Finest 2 napja
Agree 100 percent
Bold Alligator
Bold Alligator 3 napja
My mother was a horrible person. The only reason my father stayed with my mother was because he knew he wouldn’t see me or my sister again should they divorce. I’m here in NC and it’s well documented that it’s a “mommy state”
Johan MRG
Johan MRG 4 napja
when i meet a man that grew up without their father i always feel empathetic, but its always an indicator in what to expect from them. Its not a good thing.
lessonz 4 napja
Thank you Attorney York. I have felt this tragedy on so many fronts. I thought I was somehow the only father with my children who experienced this after my divorce 12 yrs ago. I am sharing your Ted talk and will do so until things change. God Bless you and your family and all those affected.
Construction King
Construction King 4 napja
I live this video. I'm 42 got 4 children 3 girls and a boy. Been married 17 years. I don't know any of the Dr names or teacher names. But, my kids love me!
Kevin Rehberg
Kevin Rehberg 4 napja
The institution of marriage is a dismal failure in today's society.... Think about it... if Skydiving had the same record of failure.. would you??????
Tabatha Justice
Tabatha Justice 4 napja
I am a nobody but am a fathers rights parents rights advocate! I try an educate the men around me with vile money hungry baby makers Ill call them as they see the children as pawns as leverage as Income so Sadly
Gina White
Gina White 4 napja
Men leave their children with much more ease than women do.
O G 4 napja
What disgruntled ted talk employee selected that horrible thumbnail? \
Aaron Rajasaari
Aaron Rajasaari 4 napja
The sole reason I don't get along with my mother. She took my dad away from me, and me away from my dad. Still love her though
Aaron Rajasaari
Aaron Rajasaari 16 órája
@Alan Levin we've had plenty of conversations about it. It is what it is. Can't do anything about the past, Except to accept it.
Alan Levin
Alan Levin 16 órája
sorry about this, hope you told your dad
Sebastian Alvarez
Sebastian Alvarez 4 napja
What’s a dad?
Ricardo Contreras
Ricardo Contreras 2 perccel
A figure you needed.
Paul Bellas
Paul Bellas 4 napja
Your Dad was a very wise father! Glad he took the time to teach you life lessons...
Kaichi Uchiha
Kaichi Uchiha 4 napja
I've watched my dad kill himself working as a technician for 18 years It hurts me to see him break down, I only see him every other weekend. I've watched this respectable big strong guy that I've aspired to be like my whole life, sit here and cry telling me how hard and how scary it was to lose his child he loved so much and how much time money and court battles he had trying to get more then just 4 days a month. Isn't that tragic. He wasn't abusive, never did anything wrong. Court just killed him in every way. I'm now growing up, in a very active relationship that seems to be coming up on marriage. We're both very happy, I have no idea what I'd do if something like that happened. From stories I've heard, losing custody could happen so fast for little to no reason. I guess I should just make sure to stay in line, since I'm a male I have to be muzzled.
computerbob06 4 napja
The Most Important Man in Any Woman's Life................. Her Father! (Marge Simpson - as written)
Ser ena
Ser ena 4 napja
As a girl who grew up with an abusive father who later left me and my mom to never have contact again, I grew up with severe "daddy issues"... yes, dropped out of school, have been homeless, been married twice to abusive men and had other destructive relationships and behaviours. I never realized it was due to the lack of a father figure in my life until I started to realize that I never had any "romantic" or "loving" feelings toward my partners, rather I saw them as someone I could find safety in, a father... but of course that never happened.
Ser ena
Ser ena 4 napja
@Gunther Von Hoffman It is difficult for a person with a big ego, pride and arrogance to say sorry and mean it. My mother has apologized many times with her mouth and tears, but her actions after the emotional outbursts return to normal and remain the same.
Gunther Von Hoffman
Gunther Von Hoffman 4 napja
@Ser ena I don't ever recall my father apologizing when he was in the wrong. The same thing with my mother.
Ser ena
Ser ena 4 napja
Just the word "father" I hate... I can't help it. Yet inside I'm waiting for my father to show up and say "I'm sorry" and mean it.
edmundo macias
edmundo macias 4 napja
It's very simple. Men are traditionally the providers. The system wants to fill this role in your childs life. This is why they target the Male. If you are dependent on the system to fulfill your basic needs. Then you will follow the rules they put forth or they take your assistance away. It's always about control.
Poison Ivy
Poison Ivy 4 napja
my father isn't the best person in the world... but I really hope that the father of my children in the future is a good person..
Finance Max
Finance Max 4 napja
Excellent lawyer.
Utopian Dubstep
Utopian Dubstep 5 napja
5.8k karens
Babs & the wrecking crew
Babs & the wrecking crew 5 napja
she has a mighty strong neck and jaw line 😗
Ryan Fox
Ryan Fox 5 napja
But why does the thumbnail make her like a villain..
Nuke Engineer
Nuke Engineer 5 napja
Gents, insist of DNA test before you sign yourself as a father with flaky Ho's.
Alexander Brown
Alexander Brown 5 napja
Men have to fight tooth and nail and put themselves in debt to prove their love for their children and women only have to exist. And when they are financially and mentally broken they are taken back to court and crucified. This is reality, this is life as a father. Your family will abandon you, your friends will abandon you, all based on the accusations of another. But all this ok because you are a man and just keep your chin up and move forward and slowly suffer until the gun is pressed firmly against your temple. This is man.
TheMrApocalips 5 napja
Today males are not even slaves, they are walking wallets and scapegoats. Only "6" from this crazy wish list of height, salary, fitness etc. is sixth sense to avoid women.
Dannie McKay
Dannie McKay 5 napja
She is great, and dead-on about children needing their Fathers.
Rodrigo Santos
Rodrigo Santos 5 napja
having a dad felt like scary, whe he came back we never knew when he would leave again, one day he never came back, and after a couple of months we got used to it and the problems were over
Ericka Haslam
Ericka Haslam 5 napja
Dad’s are the bomb! I see the way my husband is with my kids and I’m so grateful my kids have him bcos he brings a lot of fun and love that is different than what I bring. I worked in adoption for a long time and men don’t have near as many rights as mothers have in the adoption process. Both fathers and mothers deserve fair rights and equality in divorce, adoption, and visitation. Thanks to this woman and many others for all their work. We should always want what is best for kids.
Eric James
Eric James 5 napja
A dose of reality that so many ignore.
Junkyard Dog
Junkyard Dog 5 napja
80% of the issue is easy to fix. STOP treating children as an income source. Eliminate 95% of all mid term welfare and 100% of long term welfare. Eliminate vagimony and manomony. Elimanate 95% of child welfare (child "support").
ITs Doc
ITs Doc 5 napja
This was well done! 👍True feminism means caring about men just as much. Also never to forget the unique and important needs of children, the value of the elderly and the true potential of those physically and mentally handicapped. ❤ lets all HELP each other.
Phillip Weissburg
Phillip Weissburg 5 napja
Marriage is for women..........no bridegroom magazines....no bridegroom conventions....but women are natural leaders as they have led millions of men to the altar...convincing them its in their interest to be married....
Fortune Ezekiel-Hart
Fortune Ezekiel-Hart 5 napja
I can't imagine my life without my father. My mother was very important but as I grew older I needed my dad more. One of the most important contributors to the person I am today is my father. He never said but I knew how much he loved me cause he always showed me that he loved me more than I can imagine
GREG BUNDY 5 napja
is it me or... does she look and talk like a man to you too.
Martin Fugitive
Martin Fugitive 6 napja
Have not seen my two daughters for 18 years. She Who Must Be Obeyed has no heart.
thanksfernuthin 6 napja
She must have the proudest Dad in the world!
MattyBoi-Matt 6 napja
Society treats fathers as second class citizens
pinky 6 napja
Pretty sure this lady was on Tosh.O
Cummins MAN
Cummins MAN 6 napja
Fender Man
Fender Man 6 napja
As more women go woke ......the more children suffer!!!
Corry Burton
Corry Burton 6 napja
this woman is a diamond...
Marcus John
Marcus John 6 napja
my children are visiting their grandparents for 2 months and i am going crazy, smh. I miss those little devils.
PLL9000 6 napja
There's money to be made in keeping families apart.
Richard Casados
Richard Casados 6 napja
I adopted my oldest daughter when she was 4 yrs old and raised her like she was my very own. I never treated her any different than her younger sister that I fathered with her mother. She is 22 now and her sister is 15. They are both Daddy's Little Girls and I would proudly give my life for them. Sadly I lost my Wife in 2019, and it has been very hard on us all. Her biological father has recently tried to come in to her life again because he doesn't have any financial obligation now that she is grown. I told her if she wants to spend time with him that it is her choice and it hurt but I knew it was the right thing to do. She told him the first time they met that he needs to understand that he may be her father but that I am her Dad and I come first in her life. Needless to say I had to go cry for a little while. But we raised our girls in a happy home with both parents and it makes all the difference. Kids who live without one parent are generally more sad, angry, violent, suicidal, etc. Our children are our creations, our legacy, our future. We have to do right by them no matter what.
WolfOfMen 6 napja
corner lord
corner lord 6 napja
Her public speaking is so good, she should be a lawyer.
Jahu1104 6 napja
shame fathers fathers become bad fathers sons have bad fathers sons become bad men those men become fathers repeat
Rafael Andrade
Rafael Andrade 6 napja
In my country if you are a girl, probably you are better of without a father.... there is a real death risk
PC Free
PC Free 6 napja
Dads are the Boot camp of life.... "the more you bleed in training, the less you bleed in battle".
Giba Sea
Giba Sea 6 napja
Thank you madam, I think if this information is not coming out of women's mouth it doesn't have any value
MattheManiac2 6 napja
Nearly 6,000 dislikes. That is depressing, what an incredible speech!
Rachel K
Rachel K 4 napja
It lacks nuance. For someone like me, it feels like victim blaming. I lost everything trying to protect my daughter. I was ultimately successful, and though I wish she had a relationship with her father, it isn't safe. Now, sometimes the father is a better parent than the mother, sometimes the opposite is true, but focusing on men's rights, not children's rights, isn't always going to result in the best interest of the child, and there are a LOT of abused women who have had their lives and their children's lives destroyed by attorneys like this. Being revictimized by an indifferent family court is hard. Being told that your child is going to be damaged for not having a father is hard, especially when you have ptsd yourself and it makes it hard to find male role models. But I want my child safe. That's what matters most to me. So yeah, downvote.
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